Career Move from the Boob Tube

Here in Cameroon there are few sentences that have never managed to run across my stream of consciousness. Among them? “This shower is too hot”, “Man, this cake is delicious!”, and last, but not least, “I just don’t have enough time on my hands…”

Time is something I do not lack here. Some days, in fact, all I have is time. I’ve got time to sit, time to read, time to think about time, time to hike or run or take one more nap and time to watch practically every television show available in this place—twice.

I don’t know how many of you have successfully completed an entire series of a television show, but I’ve become somewhat of an expert on the subject. Actually, that’s my problem: once I finished a series I feel like the dozens of hours I’ve just devoted to made up characters and story lines now grants me an unprecedented amount of knowledge concerning what it was that I just viewed.

Should you ever be in need of a doctor, fear not. I’ve just complete eight, yes eight, seasons on Grey’s Anatomy, thereby ensuring that if you need something nipped, tucked, cracked, healed or sliced I am the gal for you. Eight seasons is surely a better deal than eight years of medical school, amiright? Looks like I just saved a bundle of tuition (Think smart, not hard, kids!)

If everything goes wrong (as it might), I’m also a certified mortician, thanks to several seasons of Six Feet Under. The ins-and-outs of businesses are well known to me, so if you prefer your customers a little livelier, no problem! To the credit of Mad Men, 30 Rock, the Office and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia I now am a virtuoso at advertisement, television production, paper distribution and the mismanagement of a bar in the slums of the City of Brotherly Love. A warning to those threatening malpractice: I’ve watched quite a bit of Law and Order in my time, and I can duck any legal book you attempt to throw my way.

Those are small potatoes, though. What I’d really like to get into is government. I’ve watched enough government-based television shows to make my way around the political circuit for the next few decades. I’ll start with small government, fighting tooth and nail through the ranks of the local Parks and Recreations department, aided my soul-sister Leslie Knope of Pawnee, Indiana. Eventually we’ll go after the big dogs, and West Wing will light the path of my White House take-over. President Dr. Georgia Gootee J.D. M.D. PhD at your service.

In my twilight years I’ll find my way back to my southern roots, perhaps taking up residence somewhere in the panhandle. It’d provide a lovely backdrop for the vampire-fighting expertise I’ve garnered through five seasons of True Blood. While doing my time as a waitress in a restaurant I might as well try my hand at cooking. I’ve picked up a few tips and tricks from Anthony Bordain’s No Reservations and am positive that French Fusion will be the next big thing for lil’ ol’ Bon Temps, Louisiana.

Whichever way this life takes me I have the comfort of knowing that my skills range far and wide. I can be a chef, a lawyer, an architect, a newscaster, a feudal lord, a physicist or even the president of the United States. Or, at least I can play one on tv.


3 thoughts on “Career Move from the Boob Tube

  1. Dear President Dr. Georgia Gootee J.D. M.D. PhD,
    It is good to know that we have such a expert in the family and heavens know we can use you in Washington. Enjoyed reading your blog, you keep me laughing, girl. You should be going back to Bali soon, right ? You can put all that talent to use in Bali. Take care of you YGLY

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